Man (in cubicle): Hello?
Me (at urinal): –
Man: Hello? Guy, can you hear me?
Me (reluctantly): Hi?
Man: Have you got the time please?
Me: Yeah, it’s twenty past ten.
Man: Oh right. I’m waiting for the Essex train.
Me: Are you ok in there?
Man: Yeah, yeah I’m fine I’m just waiting for the Essex train. Are you a young guy?
Man: Are you a young guy? How old are you?
Me: No, I’m forty!
Man: That’s a bit old.
Me: Tell me about it.
Man: Have you just come from work?
Me (lying): Yeah.
Man: I’m waiting for the Essex train.
Me: Ok, i think it’s coming soon. Is that the Stortford one?
Man: Yeah. Have you got a mrs?
Man: What’s she like?
Me: She’s great… Listen, good luck yeah, but I’m off now.
Man: Guy! Hang on, don’t go…
(I hid behind a sign until the train came)